Life Unexpected

It's been a week of mixed emotions.  Last Sunday was my 33rd birthday.  Yes, the secret is out...I am 33 years old and I still wear pig tails (although my sister, Kristen, sent me a birthday card this week that said "Pigtails are just about as much fun as hair can have.  They're like a party on your head.  It's your birthday.  Wear the pigtails!").  I had an amazing birthday.  It pre-started with a visit from my sister and brother-in-law and my two nieces for a day of hiking last Saturday.  It carried on into Sunday celebrating with some friends, and eventually ended with my parents making the trek up here to celebrate as well.  Nate handmade me the most amazing gift, a long board paddle (you'll have to look that one up), that I had no idea I was getting.  Even my volleyball girls surprised me the day after with flowers at our game.  It was a great birthday. But, if I am going to be honest, I envisioned 33 a little different.  I remember my last birthday t

Every once in awhile the pain of infertility hits you like a ton of bricks.  This morning was one of those times.  I had a doctors appointment for a yearly check up, and forgot just how many pregnant women hang out in the obgyn.  As soon as I walked in, the reality that my dream of having a family is still "in process," "hasn't happened yet," and seems to be "ridiculously far away," hit me like a ton of bricks.  As I sat down, I looked around and saw about half a dozen women very pregnant, several women carrying in their little newborns showing them off to the world, and a several women attempting to keep their kids under control while navigating their pregnancy appointment all at the same time.  Just when I thought I couldn't handle much more, I watched a very pregnant women and her husband come out the doors holding their newly taken sonogram.  That's when I realized that the pain of infertility will probably always have a bit of my heart a