Life Unexpected

There have been so many times this past month that I have wanted to write, blog, and attempt to put into words what I have been feeling this Advent Season.  Every morning at 6am I have woken up, poured a cup of coffee, and have lit one small candle in the darkness.  It has been my attempt to silence all the noise and chaos that can come with the season and to bask in the wonder of this God who has literally come to be with us.  Several weeks ago, I felt like God was impressing on me to "see things from his perspective."  I had read the passage in Colossians 3:1-2 that says, "So if you're serious about living this new Resurrection life with Christ, act like it.  Pursue the things over which Christ presides.  Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you.  Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ-that's where the action is.  SEE THINGS FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE. There have been some incredible moments

A couple of weeks ago we celebrated Biruk's second birthday.  I am amazed at how fast the first year and half with him has gone.  I feel like it was just yesterday that we were on a plane, flying home from Ethiopia, embarking on a whole new chapter of our lives.  Time flies...especially when you have a two year old.  To be honest, I wasn't really sure what to expect as we entered into this new stage of raising a toddler.  I figured that life would look a little different now that we had a child that could walk and talk, but I had no idea how much I would actually learn from one.  I have quickly learned that a our toddler can run faster than Nate and I combined, and his energy level blows mine out of the water even after I have consumed an entire pot of coffee.  I have learned that toddlers not only have the ability to repeat everything you say, but will in fact repeat everything you say (I learned that the hard way as I hit my head on the refrigerator door and yelled, "D

Sometimes you have those days where you wish you could just hit the rewind button and start over.  Yesterday was one of those days.  I had just come off a long weekend away with a group of Youth Pastors from all over the country digging into poverty and cross cultural awareness prep for missions.  By the time I flew home Saturday night, I was mentally exhausted.  I knew that my exhaustion was not going away anytime soon, due to the fact that I had a two year old waiting at home for me and preparation for a retreat that I would be speaking at the very next weekend (I know...not great timing on my part!). Monday morning came faster than I wanted to and my predictions were correct.  I was exhausted.  From the start, all I could think of was the 95 million things I had to get done and the little time I had to get them done.  On top of that, it was Monday.  Nate works part time on Monday tutoring English Language Learners in one of the local middle schools and Mondays have become my day

Every Sunday morning, I head over to church early to greet people who will come through our doors.  I look forward to seeing people we haven't seen all week, new people who are checking things out for the first time, and the faces of people we consider our extended family.  More than all of those people combined, I look forward to a little boy who has stolen my heart, a boy who has caused me to think differently about life, a boy who tests me at times, who makes me laugh uncontrollably, who challenges me some days, and who loves to cry out, "Mommy...Mommy...Mommy!" This morning that little guy, who I have the privilege to call my son, came through the doors of the church and came running up to me to show me what he had brought in for the first time (with the help of Daddy, of course!).  He was carrying a little canvas bag and inside the bag was his very own Bible.  My heart melted.  He was so proud of that Bible. Today was Orphan Sunday and I have been reminded of j

My Coach, April Diaz, and I and of course...Africa in the background! Over the course of my life I can point to certain chapters that I would consider to be “defining.”  They are times where I have seen my soul be awakened, challenged and changed.  They are moments that I couldn't have wished for or created on my own.  They are points in time that have been critical to shaping my heart.  The past 10 months have been one of those defining chapters. Last Fall I found myself feeling restless.  I was in the middle of my 10 th year at our church as Youth Pastor.  We had just brought home our son Biruk from Ethiopia after a 3 year journey of waiting.  I was in the middle of a maternity leave, attempting to figure out not only how to be a Mom, but how to be a “working mom” with a paid professional job.  I was struggling with so many fears in my personal life.  And honestly…I was struggling to feel valued and validated.  That October, I received an email that would change the cou

A few weeks ago I was listening to the radio, when all of a sudden the host began to talk about raising money for a clean water project in a third world country.  Having just returned from a trip to Mozambique, Africa, where a good portion of our time was spent looking at clean water projects, I was immediately intrigued.  The radio DJ began explaining that for just a few dollars a month, you could bring clean drinking water to a village in need.  He then began to "put it into perspective" to his listeners.  "Imagine this for a minute," he said.  "Imagine taking a cup of water, going outside, putting some dirt in the cup and mixing it around, and then, imagine serving that dirty water to your child.  Can you imagine what that would be like."  His co-worker gave her two cents for a few minutes, but their voices became faint as I found myself back in the middle of a remote village in Africa. I found myself wishing that the only problem with the water a

Yesterday I was sitting in worship when we sang these words, "my heart and my soul...I give you control...consume me from the inside out, Lord."  It's not unusual for us to sing songs and not really give thought to what we are singing.  It's not something we are proud of (to sing without thinking about what we are actually saying), but the reality is that we often come into worship preoccupied. Preoccupied. Sometimes we are preoccupied with what happened the week before, what is going to happen in the upcoming week, what we are going to eat for dinner, who is playing football, whether our hair is sticking up, whether we look nice enough, what our neighbor is doing, whose baby is crying in the back of the church, how we would love a Medium Pumpkin Coffee cream only from Dunkin (ok...so some things can't be helped).  The bottom line is far too often we come into worship "preoccupied," and we forget who we are there for and just how powerful the

I have always struggled with seeing myself as enough.  If I look back on my life, I am not even sure where that struggle emerged from.  I grew up in a home where my parents poured out love on a daily basis, reminded me that I am a person of value, encouraged me along the way in all that I chose to do, and often reminded me of the things that they saw in me that I often could not see in myself.  I have tried really hard to surround myself with friendships that do the very same thing.  I have tried to do what Brennan Manning writes about in his book, Abba's Child, " To define myself as one who is radically beloved by God and allow that to constitute my self worth."   But the reality is, to love myself, to see myself as valuable, to see myself as "enough" in this competitive world, has been something I have continued to battle out in my daily life. This past June I received a phone call that I had no idea was coming.  We were away for Nate's first official

Two weeks ago today, I found myself face to face with a little girl who would capture my heart in a matter of moments.  Her name was Kimberly Naomi and I haven't been able to forget her.  We were day 8 of our mission trip to Honduras when our paths crossed at the children's orphanage.  It was my 10th time in Honduras, so going to the orphanages had not only become familiar to me, but visiting them was something I looked forward to. This visit to the orphanage was different though.  I now was the mother of a child adopted from a place very similar to the one I found myself standing in.  As I watched my teens ventured into this institutional like setting, one that housed children from all different walks of life, one that had a room full of special needs children, one that had children over the age of 12 who were confined to beds, one that was filled with children who had been abused, neglected and abandoned, I was struck by the beauty that unfolded as they embraced the babie

Last night, Nate and I had the privilege of taking out 5 seniors who just graduated out of our youth ministry. We got dressed up (if you consider a princess dress with chucks "dressed up,"), loaded up the church van for one final ride before they embark on the ride of their life to college, and headed down the Inner Harbor in Baltimore where we indulged our faces in cheesecake.  As I sat across from students who we have poured our life into for the past 6 years, students who we have watched "grow up," I couldn't believe that in a matter of days, they would be off to college beginning the next adventure in their life.  Time goes way too fast.  These days, time seems to be moving faster than I can catch up with.  At the start of the summer, I knew that I was entering a season that would probably leave me breathless, but I am not sure that I realized just how much.  Physically, we have been on the go since the end of June.  From a 600 mile road trip to Maine,

It has been far too long since I have sat down and taken some time to write.  To be honest, the summer started and before I knew it, we were already into July.  Between Mission Road Trip stops with our youth group, summer night walks with our little one, a road trip to Maine to visit Nate's mom, mission trip fundraisers, writing sermons, spending time with teenagers and trying to keep up with my calendar, the days fly by incredibly fast.  To make time feel like it is flying even faster, today we had our very last post placement for our adoption.  In two weeks we will have been home for an entire year, and that alone blows my mind. This week we are on vacation with our entire family for our annual trip to the Jersey Shore.  It's hard to believe that at this time last year, we had packed our car with baby stuff, headed for vacation, anticipating that we would finally get the call to go to Ethiopia to pick up Biruk.  God in his graciousness opened those doors, our family saw u

A couple of weeks ago, we celebrated our high school graduates.  It was a big year for our youth group, as we graduated 15 students.  I watched that week as students were celebrated for so many accomplishments.  Some had achieved the highest honors they give out in the public school system, some were the top athletes in their class, others had been given full rides to schools they had always dreamed of going to, and there were even a few that had received perfect attendance for all 12 years of school (something I don't even think I ever came close to!).  As I attended graduation party after graduation party, I watched as parents went above and beyond to help their graduate know just how proud they were of all they had accomplished.  It was a pretty sweet thing to be a part of. I have always felt as though the teenagers that graduate from our youth ministry are somewhat "surrogate" children to us.  We not only invest a lot of time into them (although not nearly as much

Several years ago, Nate and I began the conversation of what it might look like for him to be a stay at home Dad when we finally brought home our first little one.  If I am honest, I had my concerns.  For starters, Nate is an extremely gifted teacher.  When I say "extremely gifted," I am not exaggerating.  Nate is the kind of teacher that every parent wants their child to have the opportunity to have.  Choosing to be a stay at home Dad was going to crush a lot of parents hopes and dreams.  I was also concerned about money.  Let's be honest, when you go from living on a teacher's salary and youth pastor's salary to just a youth pastor's salary...that is pretty significant.  Nevertheless, Nate felt strongly that this was what God was calling him to do, and so we did it.  I was also concerned that giving up his teaching profession and moving into a role that traditionally men do not take would somewhat make him feel "less than."  Boy was I ever wrong.

Biruk...before his haircut! This past Sunday we were invited to an Ethiopian family's house for dinner.  We have gotten to know the husband, but just recently met his wife, who cooked for us that night.  After being there for a short time, she mentioned to her husband, who then mentioned to us that we really should cut Biruk's hair.  She wanted us to know that Ethiopian boys typically do not keep their hair long.  We have been talking about getting Biruk's hair cut for awhile, but honestly, we love his curls and had somewhat been procrastinating on it.  And then today happened. We were on our way to a graduation party and ran into one of our Ethiopian friends who lives across the street, who we have become close to.  We hadn't seen her in awhile and the second she looked at Biruk she exclaimed something along the lines of, "Andrea...you need to cut his hair!  Ethiopians don't keep their hair long like that!"  I told her we were eventually going to

Last May 27, 2013 on the day that we first met. This May 2014 hiking at Cunningham Falls. If I had a nickel for every time I cried throughout our adoption journey/post adoption, I would be rich.  At the start of our journey, there were days when I didn't think I would ever stop crying due to brokenness inside of me.  In the middle of the journey the tears came when I felt as though God had forgotten us or there just seemed to be permeating hopelessness in our situation.  There were days when I was so frustrated with the paperwork, the system, or the process itself that tears were the only expression I had.  There were days when I would think about the number of children around the world who were living without families to love on them, ours included, and tears that came from the deepest kind of sadness would pour out of my soul. Then we got our referral and it brought a new set of tears.  There were tears of happiness that God had answered our prayers.  There were tears o

This past January I decided to participate in "The 7 Experiment."  After reading Jen Hatmaker's book, "7," I knew that I was living a life of excess and wanted to learn how to fight against the need to have so much stuff.  In January, I chose 7 foods that I ate for the entire month (it was way harder than it sounds).  In February, I chose 7 articles of clothing to wear for the entire month (it was way more freeing than I thought it would be.  In March/April, I gave up 7 things in my house a day (I probably could have stood to give away way more than I actually did in the end).  This month, I have chosen 7 uses of Media that I am giving up...Facebook (outside of my work hours-use it for youth ministry), Twitter/Instagram, Television, My Smartphone (when I am with my family), Radio (in my car), The Internet (except work related and to blog), and Email after 5pm.  I wish that I could go cold turkey from all of it, but I figured it would be pretty hard to function