2 Years and Waiting...

I feel as though I have fallen of the blogosphere this past month, yet I have had so many things on my heart to blog about.  The past month of my life has been spent away from my home as I have been traveling like crazy.  It started with an opportunity to speak on the campus of Eastern Nazarene College, my former college, sharing our adoption story, followed by a weekend with my youth group raising money for hunger through a 30 Hour Famine Event, followed by a 10 day mission trip to Honduras (I have a ton to blog about from that one), and followed by a 4 day youth event in Boston, MA.  Upon return, I caught the flu in the worst of ways and have spent the past week of my life in bed, sleeping!  Thankfully, I have the best husband in the world who has taken care of me while I was sick, put up with my traveling, and supported me every step of the way.  Even as I write, I find myself far away from home for probably the last time in for awhile, on my annual 3 day trip to Florida with my Mom.  I seriously have the most supportive husband in the world and I totally owe him a vacation!  I hope in the next few days, as I spend some time recouping from this whirlwind I call my life, I will have time to catch up blogging, sharing all the amazing things God has been teaching me.

Two weeks ago, I found myself waking up in one of my most favorite places in the world, Honduras.  It was the last morning of our 10 day trip, and I woke up extremely overwhelmed.  It was March 11, 2013.  It was the day that would officially mark 2 years on the wait list for our adoption.  As soon as I opened my ejyes that morning, tears just started streaming down my cheeks.  Two years...two full years of anticipating, two years of struggle, two years of imagining what our life is going to look like with kids, two years of practicing trust, two years of anticipating, two years of a journey that has changed us at the core.  I couldn't keep the tears from flowing that morning.

Here is the crazy thing.  They weren't tears of frustration because we haven't gotten a call yet.  They weren't tears of anger because our dreams have not come to fruition.  They weren't tears of anxiety that comes from a lack of trust in the plan.  They were tears of sheer gratitude.  If you would have asked me several years ago if I was grateful for a journey of infertility, or a journey of an adoption process that has taken double the amount of time it was supposed to, I probably would have said there was no way I could find gratitude for those things.  But on the two year anniversary of our waiting for a referral, gratitude was all that could be expressed.

I am thankful for a journey that has allowed me to be stretched.  I am thankful for a journey that has deepened my relationship with my husband.  I am thankful for a journey that has allowed me to enter into other people's pain and share hope.  I am thankful for a journey that has given me time to travel the world, ulimately allowing my heart to be broken and shaped for the things that break the heart of God's.  I am thankful for time to mature.  I am thankful for opportunities to share God's goodness in the midst of doubt.  I am thankful for experiences that only God could give during the waiting.  I am thankful for times to wrestle with God.  I am thankful for a heart that has grown love for children I don't even know.  I am thankful for a journey that has called me to something bigger than my wants, what I think I need, my dreams, my desires, and myself.

Two years has created gratitude for a journey that I would have never realized just how much it could change my life.  And so as we wait...and we believe in our hearts the waiting is just about done...we will continue to express thanks to a God who loves us enough to give us one pretty sweet journey.  Happy 2-Year Wait!

Comments

  1. Kim March 28, 2013 at 7:00 PM

    Loved your post. It truly hit home for me. We've been waiting over 2 years as well. Prayers to you!
    http://thehometeams.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-adoption-diaries-waiting.html

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousSeptember 18, 2013 at 10:25 PM

    I just wanted to thank Lord Azeez for all his help and efforts with my situation with my ex boyfriend Chris. He broke up with me few weeks ago and I found lord azeez email on a blog and asked for his help. I had him cast a Return My Ex-Boyfriend Magick Love Spell on our behalf and I have to tell you that I am very pleased with the final outcome! I'm happy to say, we are back together again after a few short weeks apart! I was so miserable without him in my life. You have made me so happy! I am ordering a Binding Love Spell right now to make sure we don't split up again! Thank you for all your hard work and attention to my serious problem! contact him now on lordazeez1990@hotmail.com

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