Six Weeks Home...

It has been 6 weeks since we have been home, which is incredibly hard to believe.  It feels like just yesterday that we were in Ethiopia, staring at a small crib that held a tiny boy we would soon call our son.  It’s even harder to believe that we now get to tuck that little guy in and call him our own…EVERY NIGHT.  I have had the privilege of being on maternity leave for the past 6 weeks.  My church was extremely gracious to go above and beyond in not only giving me 8 weeks maternity leave, but paying me during that time as well.  Those weeks have been an incredible blessing that Nate and I have tried to take advantage of as much as possible. 

Prior to getting the call that we had been matched with the cutest baby boy in Ethiopia (which I am pretty sure no one can argue with us now that the world has met Biruk), we had spent a lot of time talking about what we wanted our life to look like as a family.  Nate and I knew that we wanted to do everything possible to bond with our new son.  We also knew that we had been waiting A LONG time to start a family and we wanted to spend as much time together as we could.  So, we made some tough decisions.  After talking for a long time about being a “stay at home Dad,” Nate made the courageous decision, after 12 years of teaching, resign from his position.  To be honest, at first I was worried about finances, worried he wouldn’t enjoy being at home, and worried he would miss being in the classroom with his kids.  Nate on the other hand reminded me, “Andrea…this is what we have been talking about forever.  We want to spend time together as a family, we want to raise our son, this is what we have felt like God was calling us to do, and I know that he will provide for our needs.”  After six weeks of being home as a family, I have found myself extremely grateful for a husband not only loves his family, but has a deeper love for God that is evident in his obedience.

The past six weeks have been everything we hoped they would be and more.  We have done everything in our power to make sure that Biruk knows he is loved beyond measure, cared for beyond capacity, and just overwhelmed by God’s goodness.  We have laughed a lot (pretty much every time we change a blow out diaper), we have smiled until our cheeks hurt (out of God’s sheer graciousness to us as a family), we have cried tears of joy (a lot…seriously, everything makes me cry tears of joy now that Biruk is home), and we have just continued to stand in awe at the awesomeness of God’s plan.

I have spent a lot of time reflecting throughout the weeks, thinking about the journey that brought us to this chapter we find ourselves in.  Journeys are not always easy.  There are detours along the way, bumps on the road, times where you just have to pull over and rest out of sheer exhaustion, there are times where you are completely stopped, times where you feel lost, and times where you just aren’t sure you have enough gas to continue.  Those are the moments that at times feel like they are breaking us, but in reality, are the moments that tend to shape us the most.  Sometimes when we are in the middle of a tough journey, it’s difficult to see that.

As I have found myself having “arrived” at the destination we have been journeying on for quite some time, I also know the journey isn’t done.  We will continue to have moments in parenting that will challenge us, roadblocks that we didn’t see coming, detours we will have to take and I am sure some “running on empty” moments.  If I have learned anything in this process, it is gratitude for those shaping moments.  They don’t last forever, and eventually, they lead you to see beauty in a way you could have never imagined.

I have seen beauty over the past six weeks as I have held Biruk in my arms thinking about the countless nights that we lay awake praying God would answer our prayers.  I have seen beauty as I have watched Biruk follow his Pop-Pop around the kitchen eating up every ounce of love he has to offer.  I have seen beauty in cousins who were born on opposite sides of the world have bonded in a matter of minutes.  I have seen beauty in aunties who can’t stop kissing the nephew who they grew a love for before they even met him.  I have seen the beauty in a Grammy who can’t get enough time with her new grandson and a Nan who wants to show him off to the world.  I have seen the beauty in a childhood best friend who we surprised at her school, tears immediately forming at the sight of a baby she had also been praying for, for quite some time.  And I have seen the beauty in a “Daddy” who continues to do everything in his power to make his son feel like he is the most loved little guy in the world.

The other morning, while Nate was at an appointment, Biruk and I were playing in the living room, listening to music.  A song came on called, “A New Hallelujah.”  I turned that song up and started singing it to Biruk.  All of a sudden, in the middle of the song, an African Children’s Choir began to sing the chorus.  I immediately lost it (Biruk at that point was probably like…uh…why did you give me the crazy mommy!!!).  As I sat across from my son, I couldn’t help but cry tears of joy..AGAIN.  There were so many times when I wanted to quit the journey.  There were so many times when I felt angry at God.  There were so many times when I was positive that absolutely nothing good could come out of what felt like an insurmountable pain.  Thankfully, God doesn’t give up on us.  Thankfully, his love is stronger and bigger than our pain.  Thankfully, he creates beauty out of our brokenness even when we don’t think it’s possible.  For those of you who find yourself struggling on the journey today, it’s my hope that you would be reminded that beauty is just around the corner.