Be Present...


This past Monday, while setting up Advent Prayer Space for the church, one of my teens said to me, "I think you like to work."  This statement came after she had arrived early to the church to help set up, only to find that I had already set everything up.  I laughed and proceeded to tell her that I kind of went into panic mode earlier that day, afraid we might not get everything set up in time, and decided to do most of it myself.  She graciously put out the pens and cookies, and the other small jobs I had left for her, and we waited for people to arrive. 

I keep thinking about that statement.  "I think you like to work."  The truth is, while I love my job, there are a lot of days that I struggle with whether or not I have done a good enough job.  And so I work.  There are days that I buy the lie that the more work I do, the more valuable I am.  The longer hours I put in, the more effective I will be.  The more activity in my life or extra hours worked at home, the more credibility I have.  While I believe that hard work is important, in the end, it's not what defines whether or not we are valuable.  Our self worth can only be found in a relationship with the one who created us in the first place.

The weeks leading up to Christmas tend to be crazy for our us as a family.  Between work parties, events, things going on in Youth Ministry, and getting ready to go home, busyness can quickly overtake the season.  For some reason, this Advent season has been different.  It's been unusually quiet and unusually stress free.  I have had more nights at home, less events to attend and more chances to just be still.  It's almost as though I've been given this space this Advent Season as a gift to learn to be content, be present, and believe that God is enough.

If I am honest, some days I receive that gift like a champion and some days I resort back to believing the lie...the more I do the more valuable I am.  The problem is, when we lean into that lie, we miss out on so many incredible moments that God has created for us to enjoy.

I came home from work this afternoon with my computer on my back and with the intention to stay up late and finish what I didn't get done today.  When I came into the living room and saw Biruk, I thought about that statement made at the beginning of the week, "I think you like to work."   So many times I have allowed busyness and work to stand in the way of being fully present with my family.  When we believe that our value comes from our work, we have the tendency to put everything else on the back burner.  As a result, our families suffer.  We are never really fully present.  As I stood in the living room, I realized in those moments that I couldn't lean into the lie that my work defines who I am.  Leaning into that lie would not only cause me to not be present, but it would lead to missing out on some incredible moments with my family.

Tonight, some incredible moments were made.  They involved building play dough snowmen,  eating dinner around the table together, snuggling on the couch sipping on hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies, all while holding the hand of a little one who desires for his Mama to be present.  God has an endless supply of incredible moments he wants us to experience.  We just have to be present to see them.  This Advent season, I'm learning what that looks like and leaning into it.


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