Your Life Story is Epic...
Fast forward 35 years. I am now that parent. I am now that Pastor.
When I was a little kid, I followed my Dad everywhere. I wanted to be just like him. If he went to the hospital, I begged him to go with. If he was going to the office, I wanted to hang out (even if that meant that I sometimes got in trouble...like the time I threw a football through the office window). If he was prepping for a sermon, I wanted to know what it was about and give insight. If he was delivering something to a family and praying over them, I wanted in. It was a life that I couldn't get enough of (except for the part where he would pick us from middle school in the short blue bus, which is a whole different story). Even when my Dad decided to hire what would become my first Youth Pastor in life, I begged him to let me "interview" him. That man turned out to be one of the most influential people of my life, next to my Dad.
In the 9th grade, God called me into ministry at Teen Camp. I think at the time, I was pretty stoked. I remember coming back from camp and telling my Dad, and then for the next year leaning into that call. That was until my Dad announced to us, at the ripe age of 15, that we were moving from New York to Maryland, because we were "following" the call of God. By then, I knew exactly what that meant. We would give up everything and go.
Those next few years were some of the hardest, yet some of the most formative. When it came time to go to college, just two years after the move, I did not want to go into full time ministry. I had come to believe I wasn't adequate enough, didn't have the speaking skills needed, and was just overall "not enough." My parents walked through that with me, and eventually, I would come to a "fully surrendered" moment, realizing that God isn't looking for the ones the world says are "adequate or enough,"...a lesson that my Dad learned early on in ministry.
That lesson, along with so many more, have kept me grounded in some many aspects of my ministry journey. As I headed to Kansas City to pursue a Masters of Divinity, as I took my first job as a Pastor that I would stay at for almost 12 years, as I became an ordained elder in the Church of the Nazarene, as I would venture to Boston to begin to not only Youth Pastor at a new church, but teach my first classes at Eastern Nazarene College, it was that lesson and so many more that my Dad lived out that shaped the very ministry spaces I found myself in. Truth be told, most of the important things I've learned as a Pastor in ministry, have come from my Dad modeling it for me.
He taught me to live my life for audience of one.
He taught me to be person of integrity no matter what.
He taught me to look for the people on the margin... and love regardless of differences.
He taught me recognition really isn't that important in the end.
He taught me generous generosity is contagious.
He taught me to be a voice for the voiceless.
He taught me to always keep reading and never stop learning.
He taught me the political games aren't worth playing.
He taught me to step out of my comfort zone no matter the fears.
He taught me to trust even when I can't see what I'm stepping into.
He taught me work hard especially when no one is looking.
He taught me lost people matter...do what it takes to find them.
He taught me what it means to truly let your heart be broken for the things that break God's.
He taught me what it means to love family fiercely and do ministry well.
He taught me prayer matters...like really matters...don't ever give up on what you're praying for.
He taught me God's plans are so much better, so lean into the moments in the wilderness.
He taught me to celebrate bright spots...for they will be what gets you through the hard ministry days.
...And he's taught me that even on the days when people disappoint, God chooses to be silent, or you feel like giving up, remember what He's done, where He's shown up and that He is always faithful.
The truth is, at the age of 39, I still want to be like my Dad.
Tomorrow, my Dad will preach his very last sermon of his "official" ministry career and I will have a front row seat to watching that chapter close out. It's funny, I had always thought that God would open the doors for me to work for my Dad one day, serving alongside of him in his ministry and learning from him. What I didn't realize was that while it wouldn't happen in the same church, it would happen in so many other places.
It would happen as he met me halfway between Hagerstown and Bel Air, taking the time to answer all of the questions of a first time Youth Pastor.
It would happen as he prayed over me during my ordination passing a torch that had been in our family for many generations.
It would happen as we wept alongside of each other in the orphanages of Honduras, trying to reconcile what we saw.
It would happen as he listened on the other end of the phone as I cried over the latest hard thing I was dealing with in ministry.
It would happen as he made the drive to my first New England District Assembly to sing in the ordination choir because he knew it meant something to me.
It would happen as we prayed over teens in my youth group who were lost and broken who were keeping me up at night.
It would happen as we'd skip meetings and conferences we should be at all to grab coffee, shop in the mall, or just be together, because life together is better.
It would happen as he'd ask me the hard questions, challenge my perspective, and push me to think about the bigger picture as we'd find ourselves in the living room over Holidays.
It's happened most recently as I've watched him lead a college in transition, a job that most would have said you had to be "adequate" for.
Sometimes when I think about this call to ministry, I wonder if I'll last as long as my Dad. I hope I do. More than that, I hope that I love the way He has. I hope that I am faithful the way he has modeled. And I hope I can live my life in a way that people step back and say, "YOUR STORY IS EPIC."
Thanks Dad...when I grow up, I want to be just like you.
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