Making Room

Photo Creds:  Josh Yoder

It's been over a year since I've written a blog post.  In fact, when Nate just asked me what I was doing and I said I was "blogging," he exclaimed, "You're blogging?  Good for you babe!"  Truth be told, there have been many times that I've wanted to write, but have struggled with words, motivation, or have succumb to the reality that some of life is hard to process when you find yourself smack dab in the middle of the hard stuff.  The past 2 years have held a lot.  Challenges, disappointments, inexpressible joy, walks through the wilderness, surprised silver linings, moments that have shaped, moments I thought I would break, sorrow, laughter, new found friendships, deep questions, honest doubt, and the constant reminder that God is still in this, no matter what chapter you find yourself in.

This past October, we made the hard decision as a family to follow God's call and move ourselves to Lansdale, PA, where I would take on the role as the Next Generation and Young Adult Pastor at Immanuel Church.  I say it was a hard decision, not because we couldn't decide, but because we knew without a doubt God was asking us to leave a place where we had invested hard among college students and young people we had come to deeply love, where we had made "soul" friends, and where sisters, brother in a laws, cousins and grandparents were just a few exits away.  Obedience always costs something.

The week leading up to our move, I was supposed to be on a trip to Honduras with my younger sister for one last "adventure" before moving 350 miles away from each other.  COVID had other plans, forcing us to pull out of the trip 2 days before, and also forcing us, and my parents, to quarantine from each other in what would be the final days spent in the same town.  We spent our final week in an empty house, unable to hang with our family, waiting on negative tests, which came at 5pm the night before moving day.  We squeezed as much time as we could get that night and the next morning, before waving goodbye (after we discovered the trailer that was towing our Jeep had a flat...seriously you can't make this stuff up), and finally heading to Lansdale.

We arrived at the house we are staying out for awhile (that's another story for another day...let's just say we're taking care of 3 dogs, 2 barn cats, 5 goats, 4 chickens and a rooster), got settled in, and began to navigate our new world.  I was given the first week to just get situated, but in less than a week in, I got a stomach virus, we settled into a house that's not ours, Nate started homeschooling the kids for the semester and I realized setting up my new office was gonna be a task because ALL of my book boxes (all 30 of them) were in the back of the storage unit...behind the desks, the beds, the bikes, the couch and it just happened to be below freezing out.  That night as I went to bed, just a few hours shy of "officially" starting my new job, I read this question in my devotionals, "What is the greatest thing you can imagine God giving you in this season?"

As I journaled that night, this was my answer, "I think the greatest thing I could imagine God giving me in this season is deep fulfillment for our whole family.  Like the kind that comes when we are ALL saying yes DAILY to whatever asking."  The devotional went on to talk about the importance of making room for whatever God wants to do.  Making room.  Clearing space.  Letting go.  Giving up control.  Starting with a blank canvas.  Surrendering.

In those moments, as I laid awake, excited and nervous about a "first day," it dawned on me.  Maybe God was helping to make some room.  In the days leading up to our new assignment, when so much was out of my control, when life wasn't exactly laid out as I had hoped, maybe he was asking me to make room.  To make room so that he can surprise us with all that he has for us.  To make room for healing and wholeness.  To make room so that he can exceed our expectations.  To make room so that he can use us.  To make room so that he can do only what he can do.

That next morning in service, as our Pastor prayed a prayer of blessing over our family, the words from Ephesians 3:20 came to mind.  "Now all glory to God, who is able to do IMMEASURABLY more than all we can ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever."  I have no idea what he will do, but I clearing as much space as possible.

...And I will make room for you

To do whatever you want to

to do whatever you want to

Here is where I lay it down

Every burden, every crown

This is my surrender.

Here is where I lay it down

Every lie and every doubt

This is my surrender.

("Make Room"-Community Music)