1 Year Waiting...Mother's Day and Mixed Emotions.


This morning I woke up to my most amazing husband, who sat on the edge of the bed with an everything bagel and a Dunkin Donuts coconut coffee with cream and sugar...all to celebrate my "non-mother's" day! My husband gets me and understands both the excitement that today is our official one year to date anniversary for starting our adoption process, and the real and raw emotions that I am still a woman who has not been able to conceive.

The truth is, while today marks a day of excitement that I am forever grateful for, today also reminds me of the reality of my infertility. I debated whether or not to even blog this morning, because I don't want people to think I am ungrateful for the journey we are on. I would not exchange this journey for another, because I know it is the exact journey God has tailored for Nate and I, and nothing could be better than that. I also want those who are struggling with infertility this Mother's Day, those who have lost pregnancies, those who aren't quite sure why they haven't been given the "gift (as people say)" of Motherhood yet, that they are not alone, and the pain is real. I know what you feel, because the reality is, the pain seems to be magnified on Mother's Day for those of us who so desperately want to be Moms.

I just finished reading Mary Beth Chapman's book, "Choosing to See," while on the plane to Florida a couple of weeks ago. I would recommend that to anyone who has dealt with loss or pain in some kind of way in your life. She says this (to her son, and I think each of us can take this as well), "You have been entrusted with an incredible pain...but I know God has a plan for you to steward this story well and to minister to others through your suffering...you are my hero" My hope today, is that those of us who fall into the "infertile" or "not yet moms but wanna be" categories, would be not only be reminded of God's plan and love for our life, but would be reminded, you are a hero today to someone in your life today. While you may not be an official "mom," know that you are making a difference in somebody's life, whether that is a child down the street, a kid you smile at in the supermarket, a teen you work with, or even your nieces and nephews. And know that though your pain is real, you are NOT alone. Praying for each of you that you would feel the deep love of God in some amazing, tangible and real way this morning as you sit through yet another Mother's Day.

Comments

  1. DebbMay 8, 2011 at 6:07 PM

    You ARE a Mom!!! You are PAPER PREGNANT!!! Even though you do not have a baby bump showing, you are preggers, and THAT COUNTS!!!!! :) So thankful that your hubby "gets it" and blessed you this morning. Mine did too. Having him recognize our paper pregnancy and my already being a mom in early form totally touched my heart! And you are so right that we can shower our love on others during this wait for our own child through adoption! Blessings to you!

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