"Who would have thought starting a family would be this difficult?" Those were the words that came from Nate's mouth as he kissed my forehead and headed back into school. We had just finished a conference call with our agency that only confirmed what we had been reading...our wait was going to be significantly longer. We actually had been told that the wait time was increasing, but were hoping that if we called we would get a better understanding as to why, and if that extended wait time really included us, a family who had already been waiting for over a year for a referral.
I am not totally sure what God is doing on this one. For starters, we were told that we would have to basically re-do our Dossier packet. The packet took us forever to do, and requires getting a lot of paper work notarized, gathering references, having physicals, getting financial information, etc. It isn't just like you sign one paper. Because the wait time is extended, and we have a few papers in the packet that are going to expire this June, we have to update all of it. Lots of time...and more money. Second, after talking with our agency and trying to gage where we are at with the whole wait time, we walked away knowing that it may take up to 22 more months before we will ever bring a child(ren) home.
That seems pretty crazy and feels pretty unfair...I am not going to mask my feelings on that one. So, that is the reality we have been living with the past week.,
My mom and I are currently on our annual trip to Ft. Myers, FL, where we come down for 3 days of Mom/Daughter time. She has committed to doing this trip until I get kids (there is one bonus for this process!), This morning I got up to go running (due to our strict training regimen...Nate reminded me several times I had to run while I was gone!), and I was pleasantly surprised that not only did I run for 45 minutes straight, but I felt like God was working on my heart in the stillness of the morning.
Ever since we got the news that the wait time was extended, I have felt like God is asking Nate and I to pour ourselves into others during our waiting. I know that we already do this, basically out of the nature of our job as youth pastors, but I feel like God is wanting more from us. I am not sure what that looks like, but all I know is that we are not supposed to waste the waiting. We are to embrace it. As I was running this morning, I felt like God was continuing to impress that on my heart. Again, I am not totally sure what he wants from us, but I know that I want to have eyes to see where he is calling us to minister, and not only see it, but act on it. This wait time is not in vain...God is doing something, preparing something, and although we have no idea what, we are going to remain faithful to his work. We will praise him, we will serve him, we will give him all the glory. That doesn't mean we won't get mad, frustrated, or disappointed as we wait, but we aren't going to back down in what he is calling us to do either. We will remain faithful and we are expecting God to do some really great things as we wait.
"When it appears from earth that God is delaying, he is really putting pieces together that you had not thought of. He is engineering circumstances so that his power and glory will be on display" Jennifer Dean
I think you and Nate have a great attitude under the circumstances. I have been thinking about the two of you and this delay and I DO feel that God is using this time as you help others and influence young people who really need you while you are available to do so.
ReplyDeleteI know it still hurts and it's so hard to wait, but you are blessing others and I feel that God has amazing plans in store for you. Don't give up...we will continue to pray for you! Enjoy Florida.