Waiting...For What Seems Like Forever
It's been a melancholy couple of weeks. I am not sure what it is, but the waiting has seemed increasingly difficult. We have been working on re-doing our entire Dossier, which doesn't win for the most exciting task. The first time around it seemed exciting, the second time around it has just seemed to frustrate us. I guess we are tired of waiting. August 11 was 17 months on the wait list. When we started this process, the waiting game was only supposed to last 6-8 months. I guess that is why we feel somewhat melancholy these days. We are just ready for the referral to come...
I have found myself craving time with God these past two weeks, hoping and praying that he would bring light to this waiting process. As I have thought about the past several years of our life, waiting for the desires of our hearts to come to fruition, I have seen God weaving this amazing tapestry, shaping our hearts and shaping our lives. "Waiting" has this incredible way of meshing your frustrations with God and his lack of coming through on "your time," with this deep longing and desire in your soul to draw closer to his heart, because you so badly want to see life the way he sees it (as I am typing this, I am not sure my words do a great job expressing the tension that I feel like I live in on a day to day basis).
Last week I had the opportunity to serve at our District Youth Camp. One night during worship, the team sang a song that I hadn't heard since my Sophomore year of college (I am 32, so that was quite some time ago). The lyrics struck my heart at the core.
I have found myself craving time with God these past two weeks, hoping and praying that he would bring light to this waiting process. As I have thought about the past several years of our life, waiting for the desires of our hearts to come to fruition, I have seen God weaving this amazing tapestry, shaping our hearts and shaping our lives. "Waiting" has this incredible way of meshing your frustrations with God and his lack of coming through on "your time," with this deep longing and desire in your soul to draw closer to his heart, because you so badly want to see life the way he sees it (as I am typing this, I am not sure my words do a great job expressing the tension that I feel like I live in on a day to day basis).
Last week I had the opportunity to serve at our District Youth Camp. One night during worship, the team sang a song that I hadn't heard since my Sophomore year of college (I am 32, so that was quite some time ago). The lyrics struck my heart at the core.
"I cry out for your hand of mercy to heal me. I am weak and I need your love to heal me.
Oh Lord my rock, my strength in weakness, come rescue me, Oh Lord.
You are my hope...your promise never fails me.
And my desire...is to follow you forever.
For you are good, for you are good, for you are good to me.
For you are good, for you are good, for you are good to me."
I have absolutely no idea when the waiting will end. Some days, I feel incredibly weak. The truth is, God is a good God. I think I forget that sometimes. He promises that he has the plan. He promises to be our strength when we don't even have any desire to get out of bed and do life in the morning. He gives us hope when we can't make sense of the process around us. He is our rock when we don't think we can stand strong and finish what he has called us to do. And most of all, he is good. It's as simple as that. He is good. For all of us tonight waiting for change to happen, may we be reminded that He has been good, he will continue to be good, and he is good to us.
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