All is Well...

Last night, I woke up to the sound of my 3 year old niece, Sadie, crying in her bedroom.  She and my sister Kristen, just flew in yesterday for Christmas and are spending the first few days at my house.  Sadie came with very little sleep due to a cold and a fever over the past few days.  Kristen came with less sleep.  So, you can imagine that at 3am, when Sadie was a crying mess who didn't understand why it wasn't time to get up for like the 3rd night in a row, my sister Kristen was at the end of her rope.  I myself was having difficulty sleeping too.  I came out to the living room to attempt to "help," as my exasperated sister attempted to talk my crying niece into going back to bed.  You can imagine it was a fun time!

There are a lot of times where I find myself totally inexperienced when it comes to kids.  I guess it is because growing up, I never really baby-sat too much, and now I haven't had a chance yet to parent my own.  Last night, I felt totally helpless as I tried to "support" my sister in what seemed to be a very frustrating situation.  I did the only thing I knew how to do.  I picked my niece up and I held her tight.

The past couple of weeks our nation has been rocked by the tragedies of the school shooting in Newtown, CT.  It's been awhile since I have blogged, and part of the reason is, my heart has been broken into a million pieces as I, along with the rest of the world, have watched families deal with indescribable pain.  I haven't really been sure what to write, what to share, or what to say that would inspire hope.

The truth is, we don't always know what to do or say in the midst of tragedy, pain, and unwanted circumstances.  Even as I write this morning, I am thinking about a friend whose daughter just committed suicide.  I am thinking of friends whose marriage has completely fallen apart in the past several months.  I am thinking about my 87 year old friend who doesn't want to celebrate Christmas because he lost his wife.  I am thinking of friends who just like me are faced with the reality of infertility this Christmas season.  I am thinking about friends who were just recently diagnosed with cancer.  I am thinking of friends who have recently lost a parent, a friend, a brother, or a sister.  And I am thinking about 26 families in Newtown, CT, whose world has just been shattered. Where do you find hope?

I think we find it in the manger.  Brennan Manning said this in regards to the love of Christ, "You could more easily catch a hurricane in a shrimp net than you can understand the wild, relentless, passionate, uncompromising, pursuing love of God made present in the manger."  This season of Advent, the reality of Jesus and the hope that he has brought has pierced to the depths of my soul.  In a season for me, that for the past few years of my journey has been marked with sadness, frustration, and anger at times, due to "unwanted circumstances" of infertility and adoption waiting, I have found myself clinging to the hope in the manger.  I don't really know how to explain it, but the truth that we find in the manger, a God who sent his only Son to bring hope to a dark world, has overwhelmed me this Advent Season.  That hope continues to transform the darkest parts of my heart.  That is what I have to cling to.  That is what I am called to share with the world.  That is what I believe in with all of my heart.  It is what gives a small flicker of light when the world around me just doesn't make sense.

I was driving to the airport to pick up Kristen and Sadie yesterday when one of my favorite Christmas songs came on.  It's called "All is Well."  I like to blast it as loud as it goes in the car...I would encourage you to do the same as you listen to it!  The lyrics have always struck me as a powerful reminder that as Christ came into this world, light was brought into complete and utter darkness.  He is Emmanuel...God with us, and he is holding us in his arms.  And he has come to say..."All is Well."