Caught Between Two Worlds...

Today marks one official week since starting our fast, "7."  To catch up those who didn't read my last blog, Nate and I are on an adventure to not only simplify our lives, but to draw closer to the heart of Christ, through an experiment/fast of simplicity.  This month we are focusing on food and have chosen seven food items we will be eating for the month:  chicken, black beans, spinach, apples, sweet potatoes, eggs, and wheat bread.  We have also chosen to not drink coffee.  While we have had to make a few "exceptions" this week along the way (which I will have to blog about later), I am learning as I go.  H
ere are a few things I have learned in week one...

1.  Coffee has created its own rung on my personal food pyramid.  Seriously.  I consider it a necessity for life and parting ways with it has been painful!  The first four days I had a massive headache, I was a grouchy mama, and I every time I drove by Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks, I think tears formed in my eyes!

2.  Food is at our fingertips ALL the time, and a lot of it really isn't that good for you.  When I look around my house, it is covered in leftovers, snacks, bags of chips, Christmas cookies, chocolate, and more.  If we want to eat, we just pick it up and eat it.  We eat ALL the time.

3.  A lot of what I do revolves around food...taking students out for breakfast, meeting with friends for coffee, having luncheons for work related things, doing something special with my hubby (ie...getting a cup of Starbucks).  Oh...AND I LOVE TO EAT!

4.  Eating seven foods really takes the "thinking" out of cooking.  How many combinations can you make with those items?  Not a lot.  Makes planning for breakfast, lunch and dinner, quite simple.

5.  It's far easier to focus on what you can't have than what God is trying to teach you.  If I were going to rate myself during this week 1 when it comes to really focusing on God and focusing less on myself, let's be real, I would give myself a D+.  I have spent more time pining over the things I wish I had than really centering in on what God is wanting to teach me...which brings me to my biggest revelation of the week.

I AM OFTEN CAUGHT BETWEEN TWO WORLDS.  I live between the world of self-center (having what I want when I want it, living however I want, eating what I want, doing what I want, buying what I want, making decisions how I want) and the world of full-surrender (thinking of others before myself, making decisions based on what God desires for my life, thinking about how my spending affects others, thinking about how my actions have the potential to make a difference in someone else's life, putting my own needs and wants aside in hopes that they will be replaced by what God wants, asking God daily to break my heart with the the things that break his and then acting on that).  The world of full-surrender is not an easy world to reside in.

A huge part of this "7 Fast" is living in surrender.  Surrendering my desire for coffee.  Surrendering my desire for certain foods.  Stripping myself of the land of "have whenever you want."  Surrendering me...so there is more of Him.  Giving up comforts...so that God can help me become "uncomfortable," ultimately moving me to action.

I tucked Biruk into bed last night and thought to myself, "Wow!  The world in which he came from is so different from the world that he has entered these past 6 months of his life.  From a world where poverty is real, hunger is often prevalent, and babies (ours included for the first 6 months of his life) share cribs...to a world that is overflowing in resources, so much to the point where we are overwhelmed because we have "too much," I find myself wondering what kind of choices we will make in the years to come as parents as we attempt to raise him as best as possible.  Living between two worlds is a challenge.

As I enter the second week of "7," my prayer this week is, "Lord...may there be a lot more of you and a lot less of me.  As I often find myself stuck between two worlds, help me to choose to live not only the simple life, but the fully surrendered life."  I pray that God will teach me this week.

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