The Journey Continues...


About a year ago this time, Nate and I were going through our first attempts of fertility treatment with our IUI's. I don't know why, but I have kind of been thinking about our journey a lot, and have realized that this process of waiting on God's timing and God's plan, is sometimes painful. The past couple of weeks, I have kind of been a mixed bag of emotions. It seems like the "baby life," is all around me and sometimes I feel like I am just standing still in the waiting...and that can be really hard. I recently found out my sister is pregnant, recently hung out with a friend and a newborn baby, and even just got home from a baby shower (for a friend that is adopting which is super exciting). While I love sharing in all of those things, I still find the pain of not yet having a family of my own so real. At the same time, I have to believe in my heart...I do believe in my heart...that God shapes us through our waiting and pain. One of the books I have read during this process, "When the Heart Waits," by Sue Monk Kidd, says this about waiting, "Waiting is the in-between time. It calls us to be in this moment, this season, without leaning in so far into the future that we tear ourselves away from the present. When we learn to wait, we experience where we are as what is truly substantial and precious in life. We discover, as T.S. Eliot wrote, 'a lifetime burning in every moment.'"

I am waiting...and often it's painful, but I am going to believe with all of my heart that this moment, this season, today, is essential to shaping me into the woman God wants me to be...and the mom to be someday. For that I am grateful.

Comments

  1. Lorie BromleySeptember 16, 2010 at 6:12 PM

    Wow...thanks for sharing. Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. April DSeptember 16, 2010 at 9:44 PM

    Love your sense of gratitude in the midst of the pain! I'm SO glad you've read Kidd's book. It's so great, isn't it?!?! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. PattySeptember 18, 2010 at 2:51 PM

    Waiting is hard. What we learn and how we change in the waiting is priceless. I am praying for you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. DebbSeptember 22, 2010 at 1:28 PM

    Having been in the same "In-between Land," and still waiting to meet our child or children, I can SO relate to all you write! May God bless you in this "dry land." May He fill you to overflowing, even as you wait. May He show you how it is He wants you to bloom right here ~ right now ~ right where you are planted. May He continue to bless your commitment to Him, even when the waiting gets so painful........

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownSeptember 30, 2010 at 12:30 PM

    It's not too often that you find people that can really say, "I know exactly how you feel". Well, I do...infertility, adoption, waiting, God's plan, not our plan, waiting.

    Praying for you...it's SOOO hard to watch it all go on around you and yet still have faith that God can and will bless you exceedingly, abundantly more than you could ever imagine...all because you had faith!

    Let Him be glorified in it all...

    ReplyDelete

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