So I had a total meltdown in church this morning. I have felt like I have been doing pretty well in this whole waiting process, but to be honest, there are some days where the wait just gets to the deepest part of my heart. We were singing the song "Hungry" in worship right before I was to get up to do the Pastoral Prayer. Here are the lyrics to that song:

Hungry, I come to you
For I know You satisfy
I am empty, but I know
Your love does not run dry

So I wait for you
So I wait for You
I’m falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus, You’re all this heart is living for

Broken, I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary, but I know
Your touch restores my life

So I wait for you
So I wait for You
I’m falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus, You’re all this heart is living for

I just felt completely broken this morning. You know when the life is sucked out of you, you start that "hyper ventilating" crying, where you can't control yourself? That was me...and then I had to attempt to go pray for the entire congregation. WAITING IS SO HARD! I know that is the resounding theme of my life story right now, and half of the blogs I write, but that is just being honest.

There are days that I feel weary waiting...there are a lot of those days. There are days where I feel broken. But the truth of the matter is, God never stops working and moving in our lives. He is at constant work in our life, and he desires for us to give him everything. He desires for us to fall on our face, broken pieces and all, believing that he loves us with this immense kind of love.

There have been A LOT of days that I have found myself as a Youth Pastor, waiting for God to work in a teen's life. I have fallen face down, begging God to step in and work again and again. It's often been in those times, that all I can see is the brokenness. But again, God is always at work, loving us, working on us, and piecing together the brokenness to make something amazingly beautiful.

Tonight, I had the privilege of baptizing 8 students and 2 young adults from our youth ministry. Some had grown up in the church, a few had been invited by friends who had invited friends, and still others have only been a part of the youth ministry for a short time. Many of those teenagers I have found myself "broken" over, waiting for the change I pray for to take place in their life. I can't begin to describe the beauty of that scene today as each student was immersed in that water and brought up "a brand new person." It was like they realized in that moment how deep and immense the love of God really is.

It doesn't matter how broken we feel, we can not give up in the waiting. We can fall down, face on the ground, and cry our hearts out, feeling like a billion broken pieces. But may we never forget what's on the other side of the waiting, and what God does in the process. He pieces together beauty that can't be described...and for that I am grateful. Thanks Rylie, Krystal, Noah, Randy, Shannon, Jared, Evelyn, Chelsea, Tyler and LJ for reminding me of that tonight.

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