Christmas 2011...Part 2...The Nieces

I have decided that kids have some kind of instinct inside of them that tells them exactly what they need to say to make you smile. Last week, I called my mom and was bawling on the phone. I guess the reality had set in that we may not get a call with our referral, and that just made me sad. She had been riding in the car with my niece Emma, who is 5, and when she got off the phone, she told Emma, "Auntie Ang is sad. She is sad because she hasn't gotten to bring home her babies yet." Emma, who is a thinker and I believe a really smart kid, just pondered those words and said nothing. Later on that day, she came up to my mom and handed her a card she had made. She said, "Grammy, this is for Auntie Ang. It needs to go in an envelope for her. It's because she didn't get to see the birth of her babies." Wow! I was blown away by the kindness of a 5 year old.

The past few days God has allowed me to have "moments" with my nieces. Emma, who has been shy at times and clingy to her parents, has emerged as this "grown up" little girl. She comes by my side, smiles at me, and when I cry, I seriously believe she cries with me in her own little way. She is compassionate and loving, and we have a special bond. She has sat next to me several times during the past few days learning Spanish on Rosetta with me, holding my hand in the mall, laughing with me, playing together, and while I am not her mom, I am so grateful to have a special bond as her Auntie. I truly believe that is something special that God has placed during this wait time.

As a child, I was always fearful of just about everything...bees, bugs, the dark, you name it. As I have grown into an adult, I have continued to fight and conquer fears in general with God's help. It's kind of been my life (if you know me you will know exactly what I am talking about). Last night I was struggling with some stuff and began to cry. My mom and I spent some time talking on the couch. She told me that about 30 years ago she had a very similar conversation with me as a child over things I was fearful about. She said that time was the very first time we prayed a sincere and real prayer together and that it changed the course of my life. I was probably 2 or 3 years old.

As I was sitting next to her, crying, Sadie (my 2 year old niece), just came over and stared at me with this big old smile. She then gave me this huge hug twice, and went upstairs. As she was going upstairs, she told my sister, "Auntie needs a band-aid!" And then she proceeded on her own to pray for me and say, "Please help Auntie Ang to be better."

Wow! Again, that amazes me...a pure, kind, and compassionate heart at the age of 2. Just writing these stories brings tears to my eyes. Even as I hold my 8 month old niece, Quinn, attempting to change her diaper (which Emma so kindly told me, "You put way too much powder on her!", I just feel blessed. These moments God has allowed me to have with them...I wouldn't change them for the world!