Overwhelming Gratefulness

This past Sunday, as we were celebrating as a church all that God had done over the past year, my heart felt overwhelmingly blessed.  I am not sure how to describe it, other than to say, I stood in my seat feeling incredibly grateful for the past year of my life.  We were singing the song, "You Have Been So Good," during worship, and again, my heart was overwhelmed with gratitude at all that God has done in our lives over this past year.  Several years ago, when I was in an extremely broken place, I remember writing in my journal how angry those words made me feel.  I didn't feel like God was good, because he hadn't given me the one thing I kept asking for, a family.  This past Sunday, as I found myself not only singing, but belting out those words, "I came here broken...you made me whole.  You have been so good...you have been so good...you have been so good to me."  I couldn't help but think about the total transformation God has done in my heart during this wait process.  Am I ready for a referral?  You bet!  Am I growing tired of the wait?  Yup...more and more each day!  Would I trade the process?  No way.  It's been in the waiting that my life has been transformed in a way that I could have never imagined, and I am forever grateful.

Tonight, we had the opportunity to have the African Children's Choir perform at our church.  They are incredible children with huge hearts whose lives have been transformed by the love of God.  As they performed with huge smiles on their faces and an energy that can only come from God, I was hit again with the realization of God's goodness.  These children's lives have been completely transformed by the love of God.  These children have lost one or both parents, many have not had access to education, many have gone without food, and most have been pulled out of some desperate situations.  I watched tonight as each child introduced themselves during the concert and shared what they want to be when they "grow up."  Some said doctors, others lawyers, some pilots, and some nurses.  As these 7-9 year olds shared their dreams, I couldn't help but think of the power we have to make a difference in the lives of children all across the world.  I couldn't help but think about the call that God has placed on Nate and my life to adopt, a call that only came out of a story of brokenness.  I couldn't help but think of the privilege we have to adopt...a privilege that has only come through our hearts being broken and transformed.  It was an overwhelming thought, and I immediately began to cry.

Tonight we have two little girls staying with us from Uganda.  Even as I type those words, I get that lump in my throat and the tears begin to well.  Soon (and I am starting to believe that soon is coming), we will be tucking in little ones....little ones whose dreams are to be doctors, nurses, pilots and lawyers...little ones who we will only call our own because we allowed our hearts to be broken and transformed...forever grateful.