He Is...

This morning I woke up with anticipation.  Not only was it the day we would leave for our awesome annual vacation to Stone Harbor, NJ, but I was expecting to get an email from the Embassy saying we were approved and could travel to Ethiopia to pick up our son.  I have been checking my email incessantly.  I actually think I annoy myself with how often I check it.  Every five minutes I look to see if there is something new, and this morning, when I found a new message from our adoption agency, I was stoked.

I opened up the email and did not read what I was expecting.  Instead, I read that the embassy is requesting a meeting with our son's birth mom.  Apparently that is not unusual and no reason to be concerned, but it means that we clearing embassy is going to take a little while longer.  It could take a week to several weeks. You can imagine that as my husband was packing the car with not only our vacation suitcases, but our Ethiopian suitcases, a car seat and a stroller, our hearts felt a little broken.  A few minutes later, an adoption friend who was supposed to be traveling next week to pick up her son, called and told me that they were missing documents and would not be traveling.  She and I were both in tears.

The adoption process isn't easy.  I can confidently say it has changed me in incredible ways, shaped my heart for the things that make God's heart beat, stretched me to trust in a way I didn't think I could trust, but there are still some days where it is just plain hard.  This morning as I sat on the couch, bawling my eyes out and sharing my anger with God...which I am sure he really enjoyed...I couldn't help but ask, "WHY?"

Nate came into the house, asked if I was ok, and and asked if I wanted him to take the suitcases we packed for Ethiopia out of the car.  I said rather strongly, "NO...to all of that."  And so, we traveled to Bel Air, picked up my niece, Emma, who we were taking over night, went the rest of the way to New Jersey (where we will be until we get a call), with ALL the suitcases for Ethiopia.  As soon as my niece got in the car, she asked, "Why do you have a baby seat."  I said, "It's for Biruk."  She said, "Are you going to get him today?" Keeping back the tears I replied, "Not yet."

I don't always understand God's plan.  I am not sure that he ever said we would get it.  So when I don't, I remind myself of the things I know to be true about God.  He has a plan.  He is gracious.  He cares for me.  He cares A LOT for orphans.  He is faithful.  He is strong.  He calls us to things we could never handle on our own.  His timing is perfect.  He is a protector (for Biruk on the other side of the world).  He is all-knowing.  He knows what is best.  He is good.  He has a sense of humor (remember when he gave us less than 24 hours notice for the first trip to Ethiopia...hilarious...maybe that will happen again!).  He is a God of miracles.

So here is what I am praying tonight.  I am praying that the God I know who loves orphans, who has the plan, and who is faithful would do his thing.  It's his timing.  It's his plan.  And he IS the God of miracles.  I am praying that we keep getting stuck in the waiting.  May he exceed our expectations.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Donut Story

Image
When I was about five years into being a Youth Pastor, I met a group of kids that changed my life.  Many of you reading this, who know me personally, have probably heard me talk about them numerous times.  Nate and I happened to live in the parsonage next door to the church I was serving at at the time, and would routinely come home to a group of boys that I would have described then as "rough around the edges."   They dressed mostly in black, had long hair, and sometimes even had black painted fingernails.  They loved to smoke, and they loved to skateboard.  After a few days of watching them through our window, Nate and I went outside and brought them some sodas.  We introduced ourselves, told them I was the Youth Pastor at the church, and invited them to come to youth group.  While they politely declined our invitation, we continued to invite them over and over again, attempted to skate with them, and fill them with snacks.  Until one day, ...
Read more

A Mother's Heart...

Image
It was the night before we were ready to leave for Ethiopia that it dawned on me. We hadn’t given the necklace to Biruk yet. When we had exchanged necklaces with his birth mom ten years prior at the orphanage, we had no idea when we would give it to him. We just knew that we wanted him to be old enough to appreciate it, as it would be the only thing he would have from her. We had no idea if we would ever see her again.  There have been several moments in our journey where I’ve had to pinch myself, because it has felt like I was dreaming. That night as we put our final things in our suitcases, took a deep breath, and came to the realization that we were not only taking our kids to Ethiopia, but that Biruk would in fact meet his birth mom…well, you had to pinch me, because it felt like I was dreaming. It also felt like the perfect moment to share this gift that we had been holding onto for 10 years. So we pulled out the necklace and gave it to Biruk. While words can be few and...
Read more

Stories Matter

Image
Yesterday, my family and I found ourselves at a local elementary school’s culture club, presenting about our trip to Ethiopia. Even as I write those words, it kind of blows my mind how God has continued to use our story in unexpected places. When the kids were old enough to understand, we began to talk about taking them back to their birth country when they turned 10. We figured at 10, they would be old enough to be pretty good travelers, but still approach the adventure with a childlike wonder. What we didn’t plan on, was that the year Biruk turned 10 would come on the heels of me taking a brand new job, our family moving to a new state, and buying our very first house, in an economy that felt as though it was tanking!  I remember talking to my counselor one day and sharing with him that while we had always promised this trip to our kids, it just didn’t seem to make financial sense. After all, last time I checked, Southwest Airlines does not travel to Africa. He said someth...
Read more