275+++...Seriously?


I have been told a time or two that I have A LOT of clothing.  Ironically, when I look into my closet, I often find myself staring at all that I have and wishing I had more, or something different, or something more trendy, or something cuter than what I already have.  So, I stand in front of my closet and I loudly exclaim what I am sure a lot of people mutter on a daily basis, "I have nothing to wear!"  To which my kind and honest husband says back, "Are you serious right now?  Look at all of those clothes!"  It's the story of my life and it's one of the reasons that I have chosen to do the "7" experiment/fast.  It's a fast that has challenged me and created a deeper desire to know God and understand the real things that he wants for my life.  It's a fast from all the excess we find ourselves smothered in.  It's a fast that has forced me to look at the reality of my life...I have a lot.

Today is the second week of the second month of "7" (wow that's a mouthful!).  To be honest, I am still digesting all that I experienced and learned from month one and trying to figure out what to do with it.  I jumped into month two last Monday and let me tell you, while physically it has been easier to "do" than month one (which entailed eating the same 7 kinds of foods for an entire month), it has definitely been harder to process.

Month two focuses on clothing.  The task at hand was to choose 7 articles of clothing you would wear for the entire month.  Choosing the clothes was a lot harder than wearing the clothes.  With the help of my husband (who by the way kept saying, "Do you know how 'freeing' this is going to be for you???) I chose a pair of dark jeans, a pair of light jeans, a pair of sea foam corduroy pants (that are dressier), a striped long sleeve shirt, my TOMS t-shirt, a light weight blue sweater, and a white chunky style sweater.  I am not including in my count undergarments, pajamas, or clothes to work out in.  I have also selected one pair of earrings, one belt, and one necklace as my accessories (which I usually LOVE accessories).  And I have chosen two pairs of shoes.

Honestly, the first week felt really easy to me.  Like Nate said, it has actually been very freeing to not have to choose what you are going to wear.  When you only have four shirts, there isn't really much of a choice.  I thought that I would care more about what people thought, but the reality is, people haven't even really noticed.  I spend way less time staring at my closet, which again, has been quite freeing.  It's actually been really nice...until I read the part in the work book (Jen Hatmaker has created a workbook/Bible study that goes along with "7") that said, "It's good to know real numbers.  Our perceptions prop things up and trick us.  How many items of clothes would you guess that you have?  WOULD YOU GO COUNT?  HOW MANY CLOTHES DO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE?  Ugg....

Several years ago, I found myself in one of those God moments that you can't forget.  I was in Honduras, on a missions trip, when I felt as though God was asking me to leave my clothes behind.  These weren't just any clothes, they were clothes that I really liked.  I knew that he was asking me to leave them all behind, but I pretended not to hear the ALL part.  I left A LOT behind, but knew that I hadn't left ALL.  I had been talking with my friend Amy, who is a missionary in Honduras about this very thing earlier in the week.  She lived with such an extreme amount of faith, wasn't afraid to say yes to whatever God called her to, and was living that out.  She challenged me that week to think beyond myself, and more importantly, to surrender to God when he asks for our stuff.  The last day we were in Honduras, about 30 minutes before we were to leave for the airport, I felt as though God was asking me again, to leave it all.  In exasperation, I said, "Fine God...you can have it all if I can find my suitcase and it isn't packed all the way in the back of the box truck."  I jumped into the box truck, and wouldn't you know, my suitcase was in the very front.  God has such a sense of humor!  From then on out, it became routine for me to leave my clothes, and later on, I would find out that a teenage girl I had become close with there, was actually able to use them.  I have been back to Honduras 8-9 times and it has become routine to leave my stuff.

I tell that story, not to toot my horn, but to share an important lesson of surrender.  I did not want to share my clothing.  I wasn't willing to let go of my stuff.  Through conversations with people, situations I had encountered where God allowed me to see his world through his eyes, and conversations with God, I was able to get to a place where I could honestly say, "My stuff isn't mine.  It's all God's.  Every last little bit.  If he wants it, he can have it.  If he calls me to give it up, I will (even my UGGS...reluctantly...but yes, I would surrender them!).

So I should feel pretty good about that, right?  Being willing to give up my stuff is a great step, right?  Good Job, Andrea, right?  Wrong.  Here is where I am at this week.  When I went to count up all of the stuff I still own (even after giving a bunch of stuff away over the years), the total came to...over 275 items (shoes and clothing).  And...it didn't include my summer attire.  And...I have A LOT of summer attire.  I don't think God is done with me yet and I think I have a long ways to go.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's bad to want to dress cute, but 275++++ articles of clothing is crazy!  Especially, in light of some of the things that God has allowed me to see and experience around the world.  I don't think it's God's desire that we would walk around feeling guilty all the time for the stuff that we have.  At the same time, the Bible talks a lot about wealth, having stuff, and living in abundance.  And Jesus says a lot about giving to the poor, not allowing your possessions to define you, and living simple lives.

I want to live simply, but let's be honest, a girl claiming to have 275+++ articles of clothing has a long way to go before claiming "simplicity."  I am not even really sure that I know how to get to a place where I can say I am living a simple life (I am praying God will show me).  I do know that I am thankful that God meets us right where we are...even in the midst of our selfishness.  I am thankful that we have those God moments of surrender...even when we fight him until we get to place where we can let go.  I am thankful that he is never done helping us to reflect his heart...even when our reflection is completely blurred.   This week, as I face my closet, I am praying just that.  That he would meet me where I am at, call me to a deeper surrender, and help my heart to reflect his...even on the days when I find myself clutching onto those crazy UGGS.  May I learn to live simply.
 

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