Life Unexpected

Friday morning I woke up to one of the greatest kid in the world peering into my bedroom.  It was my soon to be 6 year old niece, Emma.  She had spent the night at "Grammy and Pop Pops" house while Nate and I were visiting for Thanksgiving.  The deal was if she spent the night, I would be responsible for her in the morning!  I loved every minute of it.  The morning consisted of us wrapping up in the electric blanket wathing cartoons, taking a drive over to Starbucks for a special hot chocolate, singing at the top of our lungs in the car with Uncle Nate, and finishing off the morning with cinnamon rolls from Burger King!  It was a good morning. I have learned to savor the moments I am given with family.  In fact, this Thanksgiving I found myself craving every minute I could get to have conversations with my sister, hang out with my Mom and Dad, and just be around my nieces (the only thing missing was my little sis and family all the way in Boston). ...

The other day I was talking about our adoption and someone said, "What...are you like in a waiting game or something?"  Obviously, they were a little behind the times, because we have been waiting for over 20 months to get a referral.  This past week my sister, Kristen, and my niece, Sadie, came to visit from Boston. The week before, my sister Heather was here with my other nieces, Emma and Quinn.  Over the past couple of years we have collected a bunch of random toys (including a pop up playhouse) and have somewhat turned the basement into a play area.  I have loved every minute of having my nieces playing in my house.  I said to Nate yesterday, "I love having kids in our house...we have got to get this adoption thing on the road!" I am not sure what the "heavenly hold up" is...ok, even as I am writing that phrase, I am laughing...I have no idea why that strikes me funny.  I guess I am picturing someone holding up heaven!  We have prayed hard, our f...

This morning in Sunday School, Nate played what I thought was an extremely powerful video (a clip from "Facing Your Giants").  He was sharing with our students the importance of encouraging people through our words, our actions and our presence.  He kicked off the morning by showing this 8 minute video clip and then asking the question, "What reaction did you have to this video and who do you identify with the most."  As I sat in my seat, tears started to form in my eyes.  There are so many days that I find myself fighting with God saying, "I am not sure that I can take much more on this whole adoption journey."  As I watched the clip and imagined God as my coach (fully understanding that one of the main priorities a coach should have is to encourage their team), I felt overwhelmed.  He knows exactly what we are capable of...even if that means that we don't think we have the strength of energy to stick it out.  He isn't some distant God off on the ...

It's hard to believe that we are already into the month of November.  I remember thinking at the start of the school year, right after finding out that our wait time had been extended, the next several months of our life while we wait are going to drag on.  Thanks to it being volleyball season, a season where my life is officially overtaken by the world's greatest sport, I can say, "The past few months have flown!" It's been a weird couple of months for me.  I keep wanting to sit down and blog, but have felt somewhat stuck.  Not much has happened in our process other than the fact that we can throw in a couple of extra months that we have officially been waiting.  On November 11, it will be 20 months to be exact.  I really haven't felt overwhelmed in the waiting process these past few months.  I am not sure if that's because I have kept busy with volleyball, or I have just given up all control of the process (which I don't ever think I had anyway!)...

It's been a week of mixed emotions.  Last Sunday was my 33rd birthday.  Yes, the secret is out...I am 33 years old and I still wear pig tails (although my sister, Kristen, sent me a birthday card this week that said "Pigtails are just about as much fun as hair can have.  They're like a party on your head.  It's your birthday.  Wear the pigtails!").  I had an amazing birthday.  It pre-started with a visit from my sister and brother-in-law and my two nieces for a day of hiking last Saturday.  It carried on into Sunday celebrating with some friends, and eventually ended with my parents making the trek up here to celebrate as well.  Nate handmade me the most amazing gift, a long board paddle (you'll have to look that one up), that I had no idea I was getting.  Even my volleyball girls surprised me the day after with flowers at our game.  It was a great birthday. But, if I am going to be honest, I envisioned 33 a little different. ...

Every once in awhile the pain of infertility hits you like a ton of bricks.  This morning was one of those times.  I had a doctors appointment for a yearly check up, and forgot just how many pregnant women hang out in the obgyn.  As soon as I walked in, the reality that my dream of having a family is still "in process," "hasn't happened yet," and seems to be "ridiculously far away," hit me like a ton of bricks.  As I sat down, I looked around and saw about half a dozen women very pregnant, several women carrying in their little newborns showing them off to the world, and a several women attempting to keep their kids under control while navigating their pregnancy appointment all at the same time.  Just when I thought I couldn't handle much more, I watched a very pregnant women and her husband come out the doors holding their newly taken sonogram.  That's when I realized that the pain of infertility will probably always have a bit of my heart a...

I have had a lot of people asking if we heard back from our agency yet.  Well, the news is not that great.  They have extended the wait time to 22-25 months for us and have told us that we should NOT expect a referral in the year of 2012.  We are still processing that news.  Yesterday, one of my sister's friends found out that their paper work did not make it to the right place in Haiti, thus missing an important deadline for paperwork before some major changes are made in the adoption process there.  There is a huge possibility that their adoption will not happen...at all.  They have been dreaming and praying for their child for a long time. I woke up this morning with this verse stuck in my head..."Jesus replied, 'What is impossible with men is possible with God (Luke 18:27)."  There has been a new song on the radio by Mercy Me, "You are I Am."  Here is what the chorus says: You're the one who conquers giants You're the one who calls out kin...