When You Feel Less Than Beautiful...


As promised, throughout this advent season, I am going to post some of my favorite songs from the year that have really spoke to me. If you have ever dealt with infertility, you know that it is a constant battle to believe that God really has a plan for your life. When you want to have a baby...and can't seem to make that work...at times the reality is that you feel like something about you is wrong, that something is missing. While I believe with my whole heart that God walks every step of the way with us through our journey, there have been times when he has felt so distant. Somehow, in the midst of our pain, we begin to believe that we are worthless, that we don't have what it takes to be a mom (in the case of infertility) and the lies begin to outshine the truth that God has for us...that we were made for something, that we are treasured, that we are sacred, that we are His...we are beautiful. I have had a lot of days like that throughout the journey. I still have days like that. I was reminded one day in the car as I was driving to meet my parents, that God really loves me...he thinks I am beautiful...and he treasures me...even when I feel like he has forgotten me at times. I am so thankful for that reminder and hope that my story will encourage yours as you read this entry and watch the video. Praying that you would sense God's love for you!

Comments

  1. DebbDecember 7, 2010 at 4:23 PM

    Funny. I sent this very video to my sister a few weeks ago, thinking it was perfect for her to view. However, after a "spiritual breakthrough" where I got to see some areas/wounds that are still present in my heart related to our miscarriages and infertility struggles, I "happen" upon your post with the same video. Not funny. Divine. I personalized the song this time! I got the message from our Loving Father! Thanks for posting this! ;o)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Donut Story

Image
When I was about five years into being a Youth Pastor, I met a group of kids that changed my life.  Many of you reading this, who know me personally, have probably heard me talk about them numerous times.  Nate and I happened to live in the parsonage next door to the church I was serving at at the time, and would routinely come home to a group of boys that I would have described then as "rough around the edges."   They dressed mostly in black, had long hair, and sometimes even had black painted fingernails.  They loved to smoke, and they loved to skateboard.  After a few days of watching them through our window, Nate and I went outside and brought them some sodas.  We introduced ourselves, told them I was the Youth Pastor at the church, and invited them to come to youth group.  While they politely declined our invitation, we continued to invite them over and over again, attempted to skate with them, and fill them with snacks.  Until one day, ...
Read more

A Mother's Heart...

Image
It was the night before we were ready to leave for Ethiopia that it dawned on me. We hadn’t given the necklace to Biruk yet. When we had exchanged necklaces with his birth mom ten years prior at the orphanage, we had no idea when we would give it to him. We just knew that we wanted him to be old enough to appreciate it, as it would be the only thing he would have from her. We had no idea if we would ever see her again.  There have been several moments in our journey where I’ve had to pinch myself, because it has felt like I was dreaming. That night as we put our final things in our suitcases, took a deep breath, and came to the realization that we were not only taking our kids to Ethiopia, but that Biruk would in fact meet his birth mom…well, you had to pinch me, because it felt like I was dreaming. It also felt like the perfect moment to share this gift that we had been holding onto for 10 years. So we pulled out the necklace and gave it to Biruk. While words can be few and...
Read more

Stories Matter

Image
Yesterday, my family and I found ourselves at a local elementary school’s culture club, presenting about our trip to Ethiopia. Even as I write those words, it kind of blows my mind how God has continued to use our story in unexpected places. When the kids were old enough to understand, we began to talk about taking them back to their birth country when they turned 10. We figured at 10, they would be old enough to be pretty good travelers, but still approach the adventure with a childlike wonder. What we didn’t plan on, was that the year Biruk turned 10 would come on the heels of me taking a brand new job, our family moving to a new state, and buying our very first house, in an economy that felt as though it was tanking!  I remember talking to my counselor one day and sharing with him that while we had always promised this trip to our kids, it just didn’t seem to make financial sense. After all, last time I checked, Southwest Airlines does not travel to Africa. He said someth...
Read more