Bouncers, Boppies, and Bumbos...

It's only been one month since we got our referral call and I am going crazy waiting.  When we accepted our referral, our social worker was sure to tell us, "Now comes the hard waiting."  My immediate response was, "Oh, we are pros at waiting now!  This will be nothing."  I was so wrong.  Ever since we got the call, I wake up every night between 3am and 4am.  I find myself wondering what Baby B is doing, who is holding him, whether he is sleeping through the night, what it is like in Ethiopia, whether he feels safe and loved, and whether at his little young age he wonders if someone is coming for him.  I have also found myself wondering about his birth mom, wondering about the grief that she has probably experienced in giving up a child, and wondering if she is up in the middle of the night thinking about some of the very same things.  Waiting never seems to get easier and as far as living in the land of the unknown...we have taken on a whole new territory.

As we have found ourselves waiting for the next call, which will be to travel to Ethiopia for the first time for court, we have also found ourselves trying to prepare to bring this little guy home as best as possible.  Last night, Nate and I registered for the Baby B at Target.  Side note...oh how I love my side notes...I posted this on twitter.  Multiple people responded, "Is there a second baby?"  Uh..no!  Baby B is the name we have given this little guy in Ethiopia until we can reveal his true name publicly.  Just clarifying that one:)

Registering at Target was like being in a foreign country!  Last time Nate and I registered at Target, we were getting married (almost 12 years ago), and we took that little scanner and scanned EVERYTHING.  We thought that this would be just as easy.  Boy did we think wrong!  Do you know how many different stroller/car carrying thingys (I don't even think that is what they are called)/pack and play combos there are?  There are bouncers, exersaucers (sounds like some toy from another planet), boppies, bumbos...seriously...who came up with these names?  We tried reading labels and signs, but they were equally as confusing.  Stage 1.  Stage 2.  A combo of stage 1 and 2.  Oh my word...we have so much to learn.

I quickly found myself on the phone with my older sister, Heather.  As she picked up the other end, I blurted out, "This is overwhelming!"  She said, "What are you doing."  "Registering at Target and we have no idea what to get!!!"  Thankfully, my sister has had two kids and has an idea of what is needed.  She began rattling off a series of things.  I just stood there in the middle of the aisle of Target attempting to digest all that I was hearing.  She then asked, "Are you writing this down?"  I wasn't.  In the end, the only thing I could remember  her saying was, "Get a variety of sippy cups."  I believe we probably registered for about 50!  I wound up calling her back about 17 times, and then called my other sister multiple times as well.  I have a lot to learn.

As I said the last blog post I wrote, God doesn't ever waste the waiting.  If there has been one dominant theme throughout this journey, that has to be it.  While I hate the fact that my child is like a million miles away, that I am missing out on some of the most formative months, and that I can't really do a thing about it, God has the ultimate plan and he knows what needs to happen for us to bring this little guy home.  I believe he is still preparing our hearts and still teaching us in the waiting.  This morning I read in Psalms 33:20-22, "We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.  In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.  May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you."  Later on in that chapter it says, "The plans of the Lord stand firm for forever."

I can't make this process go any faster.  It's out of my control.  And yes, our social worker was right, this season of waiting is 100x harder.  I can't escape the fact that I have a lot to learn...I probably should be thankful for the time we have to prepare.  The one thing I can do is trust the God whose love is beyond big and whose plan in perfect.  So I will wait and remain hopeful that the best is still yet to come!