Life Unexpected

I've been thinking a lot about the time Nate and I have invested in students this week. I guess it's because I am preparing for the graduation banquet for next week and have spent countless hours reminiscing as I have looked through youth group pictures from the past 6 years. It's crazy to see how many students have come and gone through our youth group. I feel incredibly privileged to be a small part of their life. Often I wonder as youth pastor if I am making a difference, especially when kids "fall off the face of the earth." I find myself questioning whether what I do is really worth it, and if all the time and energy I pour into kids really makes a difference, especially when you can't always see the results. This week I had the privilege of hanging out with several students who have graduated from our youth group and are now in college. It was awesome to listen to the way their lives have changed. I was so impressed with who they have become and w...

Well, for starters...I just finished my bowl of pistachio pudding and am happily sipping some decaf coffee (I love my wife!!). So Andrea and I were filling out some paperwork the other day and part of it was to fill out your family information and history. It's really hard to have to write down the dates and causes of when your dad, your older brother and your twin brother died. I miss my dad and my brother so much. And I've always wondered what my twin brother would have been like??? I just want to shout out to my mom and sister...love you SO much!!!

So, back in October of 2009, I was kind of at a low of low in dealing with the issues of infertility. I felt like I was giving so much to God through youth ministry, and it wasn't fair that I had to deal with all of this. I went with some of my best friends, my youth workers, to the National Youth Worker Convention in Ohio. While I was there I noticed a seminar called, Death by Ministry...I was feeling pretty burned out in the ministry area, so I decided to go. Little did I know just what would come out of that seminar. I stuck around for awhile and waited to share my story with the speaker. I was hoping she could share some insight. She told me she had friend in California who was dealing with the very same things in trying to start a family, and said that she would probably love to talk with me. As she was trying to find her email address to give to me, that friend actually texted her at the same time! It was a total God thing. Since that weekend, I have been inspired and...

Last night we were on our usual Rocky's run. For those of you who don't know, after youth group we head to our favorite local pizza place and then bring a church van load of kids home. Nate and I have grown to love that old van ride...with the exception that the ceiling is falling apart and that we have to listen to songs like "Yellow Submarine" and anything by Plus One! Seriously, we have grown to love those van rides because of the relationships we have built with the kids in our youth group. We have an absolutely crazy group, students that come from all walks of life, some that are searching, some that aren't afraid to be bold in their thoughts, and some of the most caring people I have ever met. Last night those same students started asking about our adoption process. They were so excited about it, which made me even more excited. They were all offering to baby-sit and "help raise" our little one to come...which is little scary to think about! ...

Well, this is my first post!! I have been meaning to write something for a couple of days now and since Andrea, twice has referred our blog to her blog I figured I'd better get something out so that it really is our blog. I don't really have anything too significant to say except this...(I really like to use ellipses when I write) and I LOVE my wife! In fact we have this ritual almost every night of decaf coffee and pudding. Tonight we are having pistachio pudding...mmmmmm!!!

So we have our first $150.00 donation towards our adoption process! My Dad decided to give us money that he got for doing a funeral (He's a Pastor just like me). This whole "gift" sparked a conversation we had as a family on fund raising, seeing that our little child will cost us somewhere in the ballpark figure of $30,000. Along with more funerals, my older sister suggested that we each sell a kidney! I just wonder what would happened if our whole family sold kidneys and then we needed one!!! It was kind of one of those moments where you had to be there, but we were laughing pretty hard that day as a family. It is pretty cool how this adoption process has brought our family focused on one goal...bringing home this little infant that we have never met. We have gotten so excited. My older sister Heather wants to sell Ethiopian bracelets and chocolate covered Oreos. My younger sister Kristen called from Boston the other day to tell me she is going to have several ya...

I'm not going to lie, the past few Mother's Days have been really hard. It's not fun to be reminded that you aren't yet a Mom, when that's the one thing you want so bad. While this Mother's Day was still hard, there seemed to be a different sense of hope. I could actually imagine what it will be like to be a Mom, now that I know that there is a little child in Ethiopia that is waiting for a family, and that is amazing! One of the teens in my youth group sent me this text on Mother's Day: "Happy Mother's Day even though you don't have a little one yet. Your the mother of our youth group and I hope today is the best day for you!" She reminded me that we (as women) are all mothers to someone. So, whether you are waiting for a baby like me, or don't have children at all, know that your life is celebrated this Mother's Day too and you are making a difference in someone's life!

It's official...we have signed our first paper work and paid our first deposit toward our Ethiopian adoption! We have chosen Bethany Christian Services as our agency. We met with our social worker this weekend and were overwhelmed with everything we have to do. It's nerve wracking and exciting at the same time. It's going to cost about $30,000 and will be about a year-a year and a half process if all goes well. We have some serious work to do this summer in preparing our home study!

A couple of years ago, during some of the darkest times of the whole infertility journey, I remember calling my Dad (and bawling my eyes out) saying, "I keep giving this over to God and it is still so hard!" He asked me, "Would you be OK if God gave you a baby, but maybe through adoption." My immediate response was, "NO!" I didn't even entertain that thought, because I was so much about what I thought I needed, what I thought I wanted, and my plans. It's hard to describe what has happened in the past 2 years, but God has totally been working on my heart. I had the opportunity to travel to Guatemala and the Dominican Republic during the past few years. There were several experiences that happened on those trips, where I felt God tugging on my heart to consider adoption. It was through holding a little baby in my arms in the Dominican, and having little kids in Guatemala sit on my lap, that God began to soften my heart. When our third fertility...

Well the time has finally arrived for Nate and I to start a blog. It's definitely going to be a journey, because it took us at least 3 days to name the blog and I am still not satisfied with the title! "Life Unexpected"...It really does describe the past five years of our life. So, in case you missed out on those 5 years, we'll fill you in. We started "planning" for a family after 3 years of marriage. Little did we know, our plans would be totally different then the plans to come. We tried several means of fertility treatments. Lots of shots and 3 fertility treatments later, we still wound up not pregnant and in the "unexplained category." Those 5 years have been some of the most trying times in my life. I cried a lot...I yelled at God a lot...I watched as EVERYONE (and I do mean everyone..best friend, sister, people at church, teen in my youth group...everyone) got pregnant. I was so confused, so broken, and completely devastated. At the ...